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I don't know how much I'll be on between now and my meeting, because Hubby, Elijah and I are heading off to stay with DeStijl for a few days (and meeting up with a whole heap of Aussie DDNers for a picnic while we're there - awesome!) before going to the meeting, which is freakishly close to where DeStijl lives.

Think positive thoughts for me!

Oh and help me pick an outfit.

Hmmm...

The meeting approaches. What to wear?

An interesting development

An interesting development: I may soon have an agent.

I'm going to meet with one in early January. They found me via my online profile on the talent database. Only catch, they appear to be a new agency, so I'm going to have to ask them a LOT of questions before I consider signing with them. I want an agent to represent my best interests. I don't want to be just a number on their books.

Everyone's chance is small

My thought process was that it's going to be uber-competitive. I do think everyone's chances are going to be slim. There's only one role for 20-30 year-old women. There's no description of what they are looking for. The chances that anyone auditioning is exactly what they are looking for are really small. If there were more roles suitable, then I'd have more chances.

I guess this is my way of not pinning all my hopes on anything. I have a tendency to do that, and then I get bitterly disappointed. I had pinned all my hopes on getting an audition for Wicked and then I was devastated when told I'd missed the opportunity. I never want to feel like that again.

In a way, though, that was the turning point. If I'd auditioned and not got the job, then I would have said "Oh well, it was a good experience and I learnt a lot about myself" and may have left it at that. To ease my pain, Hubby told me that I had a CV and headshot and there was nothing stopping me from actually having a proper go at breaking into the industry. He made me realise how safe I'd been playing it.

Feature film!

I signed up to another talent directory site ages ago and had kind of given up on it. It's UK-based and never seemed to have any local jobs. I checked it today on a whim and low and behold, there's something in my inbox: a feature film being cast!

So I've sent off my headshot and CV. The only role that would be suitable for me is the female lead as the other female roles are for much older women, so I probably don't have much of a shot, but, hey, this is time to take chances. Let's see how it pans out. I'm not losing anything by trying.

Oh well

Oh well, at least it's one step further than sitting around and wishing.

The Director of the film wrote:

Thanks for the quick reply. I wrote the script with specific female actors in mind, so am primarily looking for male leads and actors for a couple of bit parts. As a result, it probably wouldn’t be worthwhile for you to travel the distance even for filming.

An opportunity?

I'm not sure if I mentioned here that I registered with an online talent database. I know I mentioned it elsewhere because I was pimping for votes for a competition they had.

Anyway, I've been applying for anything that looked vaguely interesting out of all the jobs that were posted.

I just got an email from the director of a film. I applied for one of the roles he posted on the site. He wants me to audition. Next Saturday. In Brisbane.

I don't think the budget will stretch to send me to Brisbane on such short notice, particularly as we couldn't afford to go to QLD for Christmas this year. Poo bum wee.

I've asked the director if he'll let me audition via video. If I get cast, then I'll fly up for the filming. But I know we can't afford for me to do two trips, especially as this is on a TFC (time for credit) basis, not a paid role.

The film is intended to be entered in film festivals, so if I get the role, it will help get me name and face out there, and it'll be another credit for my resume, so it's definitely worth doing. I just wish money wasn't so tight.

Progress check

Ok, I thought I should take a look at my goals and the progress so far:

1. Look into agents. I've been really slack with this one. I've been putting it off because I don't really know how to start. I don't know if cold-calling them is the best way to go about it. Part of the problem is the Sydney vs Melbourne thing as well. I'm not sure whether to make a decision about where to relocate first or to find an agent first. Thoughts on this would be appreciated.

2. Do more singing practice. OK, I've been good with this. I have been practising more regularly. I have even noticed an increase in the rate of improvement as a direct result. I performed at a recital last weekend and got excellent feedback, so this has spurred me on as well. This goal gets a big tick. Onward and upward.

3. Exercise. Crap. Not so good. This one has really gone on the back burner. Now that the school production is over, I will have more time at home and therefore less excuses. Time to get the pilates DVDs out of the cupboard to be a constant reminder.

One out of three is not good enough. That's not even a pass. Time to kick myself up the rear end and swing into action. I will not achieve anything by waiting for manna from the sky.

It's not too late

It's not too late to back out.
I quit my job today.

I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

Crap

Things had been working in my favour to force my out of my complacency.

Now suddenly, I have a job next year. Some departmental stuff-up meant that I never received my notification of extension of position. So I'm back at school next year, part-time. I only found out today.

Crap.

It's too late to back out of this now.

I've realised two things

1. I don't like change
2. I'm afraid of failure

This has influenced my decision-making processes in the past.
I will not allow this to continue.

Current plan of attack

1. Research agents in both Sydney and Melbourne.
2. Take my singing more seriously by doing more active practice. Continue the reflective and mental practice as before.
3. Exercise at least 3 times a week to help tone body and build stamina.

The beginning

I had a dream.
I wanted to be in musical theatre.

This is not some fly by night dream. I was actually working towards it.
Problem was, I got so sidetracked by the "safety net career" that the original dream fell by the wayside.

For the last decade of my life, I have been living a comfortable, happy life. But something was missing.

I didn't realise how much I was craving my dream until I had Elijah and missed performing.

So I decided to do something about it.

Unfortunately, I wasn't as prepared as I should have been.

Here's part of the back story for anyone who cares:
http://www.dance.net/topic/6470497/1/Musical-Theater/Wicked-auditions-in-Australia.html&replies=12
http://www.dance.net/topic/6571735/1/Photos-Members/Which-headshot-should-I-pick-Look-at-photos-first.html&replies=13
http://www.dance.net/topic/6574559/1/Emergency/CV-help-Two-days.html&replies=6

So this diary will document the formulation of my plan.
The diary will keep me motivated to stay on track and not give up.
This diary will track my progress.

I hope it works.
Because it's pretty much my last chance.

Where this came from

The original online diary was here. I began posting my entries on the blog to ensure I would continue to have a copy of the entries.